“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

— Ambrose Bierce

Over the years I have become an avid student of energy and how it moves. What I have discovered is that as human beings, not only do we consist of pure energy, we are also conduits through which it flows.

Once we understand that thought is energy in one of its purest forms, we’ll become aware that the thoughts we think make us energy directors.

Therefore, when we have misguided thoughts fueled by the energy of anger, our words can be very destructive.

When I was a kid, I had a hairtrigger temper. By the time I was a teen it didn’t take much to set me off and ignite my anger.

Years later I discovered that I had real issues around my physical stature. Being the skinniest, shortest kid in the schoolyard made me a moving target for the local bullies and my peers.

As an adult I began to understand where my anger was coming from: my own sense of inferiority and defensiveness.

On more than one occasion thoughts of anger fueled by enraged emotions sent misguided words, which I later regretted, soaring out of my mouth. As I matured I discovered that once words are spoken in a moment of misguided passion (rage), they cannot be called back.

It’s sort of like launching a guided missile and then realizing there is no abort button. Our misguided words can be like misguided missiles if we are not mindful.

As I began to study the universal law of cause and effect and how the energy of anger moves from cause (thought plus feeling) to effect (words or actions), I came to understand that I play an undeniable role in being the creator of my own experience.

This does not mean that I always have control over what others say or do at any given moment, but it does mean I always have absolute control over how I choose to respond to what has been said or done.

No doubt, people can say and do some incredibly cruel and thoughtless things that can understandably trigger our anger.

However, at the end of the day, without exception, it is we who suffer the toxic effects of being the conduit or vessel through which that anger flows.

Buddha wrote, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

It has been said that behind all anger is fear. Consider the idea that anger is the outward manifestation of an inner fear of losing control over something or someone, including one’s behavior and words.

The book “A Course In Miracles” states, “Anger is a cry for love.” When I remember my own childhood experiences I can see that my anger really was a cry for love and acceptance based on a belief that somehow I wasn’t good enough (lovable) just as I was.

Love seems to be the universal antidote for the toxin of anger. Buddha wrote, “Let a man overcome anger by love.” This applies to children as well as adults.

As a mindfulness practice today, consider becoming the observer of your thoughts and feelings, remembering that the presence of the Divine exists at the center of each of us as unconditioned love.

It is there and it is accessible— we need only remember to call on it.

So perhaps the next time we come across the energy of anger within ourselves or another, we might first pause, take a deep intentional breath and, before we send misguided missiles out of our mouth, silently ask ourselves, “What (or who) needs to be loved here?”

We might just save ourselves from making the best speech we’ll ever regret.

Dennis Merritt Jones is a local spiritual mentor, keynote speaker and author of the book “The Art of Being: 101 Ways to Practice Purpose in Your Life.” Contact him at www.DennisMerrittJones.com.