“It is one of those things that happens to somebody else,” said Keith Wolfard, a firefighter and husband. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that he would become trapped as a fulltime caregiver in his own home.

And yet more than 44 million American adults today, many of them men, are caregivers for family members or spouses. They face the constant challenges of juggling their loved one’s daily needs and medical care while tending to their own lives and work.

“Few of us are ever prepared for the role of family caregiver, which today requires the combined skills of a practical nurse, business manager and therapist,” said author Gail Sheehy, AARP’s Ambassador of Caregiving and a former caregiver herself.

In Wolfard’s case, both he and his wife refused to recognize signs of her creeping dementia. This denial can mean families do not seek immediate medical intervention that might delay the progress of disease. Also frustrating was that three different doctors dismissed the idea that Keith’s wife had Alzheimer’s, a difficult disease to diagnose. It often is missed by doctors who say, “What do you expect, she’s old?” But Keith’s wife was only in her 50s.

“Older people generally fear that admitting to serious illness might lead to having their independence taken away, so they insist everything is normal,” writes Sheehy. She points out that depression, dehydration or a urinary tract infection can be confused with dementia, as can malnutrition and mismanaged medications.

This is just one example of information many Americans need to be caregivers, according to AARP, the leading organization for people over 50 and the top resource and advocate for caregivers.

“Our loved ones may depend solely on us as the primary caregiver and resist help from others,” said Sheehy.

•If a loved one is refusing help from others, start by calling the local Area Agency on Aging to help find a care manager. This usually is a social worker who can be a neutral professional voice. The care manager can assess the home situation, talk to the patient and work with the caregiver to set up a treatment plan.

•Realize caregiving isn’t a sprint—it’s a marathon. Life is not going back to the old normal. A caregiver must take at least one hour a day to do something for nurture and refreshment.

•Collect the loved one’s medical history, including all medications, vitamins and overthecounter supplements the patient is taking. This record will save time in doctor’s offices and make points with nurses and doctors.

•Don’t try to do it alone. It’s okay to ask for help, regardless of what the patient wants. Let the care manager be an advocate. Don’t be shy about asking for assistance from extended family, neighbors, co-workers or the community. Something as simple as asking friends to add a loved one’s grocery order or dry cleaning to their own can alleviate the burden.

This story is provided by State Point Media.